Submitted by Anonymous

After a night of heavy drinking, my friends and I would always wake up in the morning and bullshit about what happened the night before.  On this specific  morning, one conversation led to another and we decided that tonight we needed to throw a theme party.  After tossing around a few different ideas, we settled on a Mexican theme.  Yeah I know who gives a shit about Mexico, but it sounded like a good idea at the time.

We went out and bought all the necessary supplies: Streamers, Tequila, Salt, Lemons, Limes, Red & Green wallpaper, and a life size poster of 2 mariachis.  For those of you who don’t know what a mariachi is, check out the picture below:

As soon we get back from the store, I start throwing up.  My hangover is trying to convince me to go back to sleep so I start drinking to combat it.  By the time we’ve finished setting up, I’m drunk.

So the guests start arriving and it’s my job to take a Tequila shot with everyone who comes to the party.  After about 10 people have arrived, I’m already blacked  out.  Now instead of just doing a Tequila shot with the arriving female guests, it’s a Tequila shot and a make out session.  Let’s just say I wasn’t discriminating based on looks.

This all took place within about the first half hour of the party starting.  I only remember phases of the night after this, so here’s the rest of what I can remember…

Once the party grew we eventually ran out of Tequila and I started exposing myself to people at the party.  One of the lovely ladies attending saw that I had forgotten  to put my penis back in my pants afterwards and volunteered to help clean me up. 

I told her I was fine and proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing in the garbage can that was in the middle of the room.

When I’m finished I turn to go back to the party and I see some kid getting his haircut in the bathroom.  He asks me if I want to get a Mohawk and I gladly agree.  Once our haircuts are finished you could tell he was a lot more pumped up about his haircut than I was about mine.   In fact, he liked it so much he head butted me in the face and knocked me unconscious into the closest.  Now not only am I way too drunk to be around people, I now have a concussion as well.

Thankfully, I find the Volunteer shortly after this and tell her I need to take her up on her earlier offer to clean me up.  Obvious we’re going to have sex.

We start and people are coming in and out of the room like it’s a 7-Eleven.  She didn’t seem to care so neither did I.  When I wake up in the morning all I can find is my underwear so I put them on and walk back to my room.

When I get there all useful sleeping materials are taken.  The only semi useful thing I could find was an Italian flag, so I covered up with that and passed out immediately.  It would have been a lot funnier if it was a Mexican flag but whatever.

It’s safe to say I was hungover for the next couple days…