Submitted by Samson

I was literally just about to pass out one night when my friend calls asking me if I wanted to have a threesome.  Confused as hell, I ask him what the fuck he is talking about.  He asks me the same question again without explaining any further.  Obviously, I say yes without putting any more thought into it, grab some beers, and head upstairs not knowing what I am about to get into.

When I get there, I could tell he had already explained to this chick what is about to go down because she had the "I'm about to fuck 2 dudes" look on her face if there is such a thing.  I crack a beer but before I can even take a sip, Junvenile's "Slow Motion for Me" starts playing on the computer.  As if this was a sign that a threesome is supposed to start, everybody takes off their clothes.

And if things were akward enough already, all three of us lay down in the bed.  I think she's been in this situation before because as soon as we lay down she begins skiing like she's in the alps.  While this is going on, my friend points to corner of the room.  I look over and see a red blinking light.  A camera.  Great.

We get bored so we stand up and she starts to give us head.  It was actually really good to the point where i tried to have sex with her but thought for some reason it would be a better idea to spit on her instead.  My buddy takes this as his cue and slaps her on the ass and says, "You fuckin' like that shit!"  At this point I've had enough and leave. 

He banged her as soon as I left.

Unfortunately, it didn't end here.  Word spread like wildfire about what happened and a few days later this girl shows up at my door as a bunch of us were watching the Passion of the Christ.  She's balling her eyes out saying her life is ruined and she wants the tape destroyed.

The tape finally did get destroyed, though I don't know how.  Her ex-boyfriend made several threats on my life as well as my friend's lives going as far as trying to knock me unconcious with an apple he threw from across campus.  Fuck 'em both.

EDITORS NOTE: Samson wrote in saying he wanted it to be clear that at no point did weiners touch.